oh and DKM – her food, crochet, knitting and stuff

Thursday Thirteen

DKM received her Real Simple and the section on ‘What was your most embarrassing fashion moment’ made her laugh out loud.

Here are 13 of her favorites… some of which she is guilt of as well. Ok Moms… what are some of your most embarrassing fashion moments?

  1. Seventh Grade. White pants, Pink stripes underwear. Scarred for life.  I did this with red flowered undies.
  2. In first grade, I accidentally tucked my dress into my “days of the week” underwear. A teacher quickly alerted me to the situation. I was highly distressed — not so much because of the visible underwear, but because I had been caught wearing “Thursday” on a Tuesday.  I was totally obsessed with my Days of the Week undies.  I once took off the wrong day at school… and was called into the office because I was playing on the bars sans undies. 
  3. Seventh Grade. All 180 days of it. Oh God yes… macramé platforms, ditto jeans and peasant blouses… curse you 1978.
  4. When I was 13 my mom made me an outfit with red and white striped pants, huge navy bell-bottoms with white stars and a matching jacket. The kids on the school bus saluted me – and worse, the cutest boy in school sang me “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
  5. Years ago, I was reading the New York Times on the subway. This was back in the ’60s, when Khrushchev’s picture was often on the front page. One day, after folding the paper at the end of the train ride and holding it close to my chest, I arrived at the office with a clear black-and-white picture of Khrushchev emblazoned on the left side of my white shirt.  Did this with the comics and ended up with Garfield on my boobs.
  6. One winter day, I bundled up myself and my four children and took an hour-long drive to meet my husband for dinner. While we were standing in line at the restaurant, the woman behind me said, “Excuse me, Miss. You have a hanger in your coat.” She was right. I wanted to die. My husband thought it was hilarious that I hadn’t noticed.
  7. My most embarrassing fashion moment came on the day I wasn’t all-the-way awake when I left the house — and arrived at work wearing pink fuzzy slippers.  Mine were hot pink isotoner slippers.
  8. I was at a nightclub with some friends and feeling uncharacteristically brave in my new dark, clingy knit top. I took a spin, solo, around the room, and drew so many stares I felt like a supermodel. Only afterward did I realize the black lighting in the club was completely and perfectly illuminating the sturdy white bra that I had chosen to wear under my sexy new top, making it glow.  Oh yes… had this happen at the Roxy one night.
  9. I was a junior in high school. During math class, a guy I had dated looked down at my pant leg and asked me, “What’s that?” I checked and realized what it was: A pair of underpants that had static cling was hanging out of the bottom of my jeans. 
  10. I was hugely pregnant and wearing my giant “granny panties.” As I stepped onto a city bus, the elastic gave way and my underpants slid all the way down. What else could I do but step out of them as gracefully as I could and kick them off the stairs? I was mortified, but I bravely made my way to a seat and reminded myself that I value a sense of humor.
  11. I was on a beach in Jamaica, wearing a new bikini. The S-hook snapped and my swimsuit top shot across the beach like a rubber band.”  Oh dear… no comment.
  12. My absolute most embarrassing fashion moment was in fifth grade, back in 1972. I used to love to watch my mom put on her hose and hook her girdle to them; I thought it looked so sophisticated. So Mom bought me a pair of white ribbed tights that were like thigh-highs and a little girdle to hold them up. I wore it to school, but some boys saw up my dress. Everyone made so much fun of me all day, calling me “old lady” and yelling, “She’s wearing a girdle!” It was back to kneesocks after that.
  13. At the end of my pregnancy, I walked into my supervisor’s office and she pointed out that I had on two different-colored shoes. The kicker was that one heel was a half inch higher than the other, and I had never noticed.
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11 responses

  1. Going into third grade was the first time we went for-real clothes shopping. Until then, it’d been garage sales and Goodwill. We bought dresses, because I was still innocent and pure. I bought what I liked. One dress was dark with a wide triangluar collar that came to a point about mid-chest. I thought it was great. A teacher liked it, thinking it reminded her of pilgrims. BAD. The rest of the kids started calling me a pilgrim.

    And then there was the awesome Russian-style faux-fun hat my parents bought me for Christmas. I loved it all the way through Christmas break, but then school came around. Kids made fun of it. I never wore it again.

    But the worst was when I started my period in the middle of a class. I was a junior–this was not an unfamiliar thing, having a period. But woosh, in that way that it happened during teen years. Like a tidal wave. I sat in my seat after class and sat and sat, pretending to arrange my books. When everyone was gone, even the teacher, I ran to the bathroom to get wet paper towels to clean the seat. Then ran home.

    Daaa-yum, being a kid sux.

    23-August-2007 at 9:47 am

  2. Real Simple is the woman’s most favorite magazine. She got hers the other day, too, and also read through every one of those submissions pretty quickly… laughing along the way.

    The woman’s fashion faux pas continue to this day.

    23-August-2007 at 9:57 am

  3. Mom is a fashon nitemare…it’s all embarrasing!

    23-August-2007 at 10:01 am

  4. Too funny! My Mommie had those “Day of the week”
    underwears. And she refused to wear the wrong day.

    23-August-2007 at 10:03 am

  5. Oh my … it is good I have furrs….

    Purrs to DKM

    23-August-2007 at 10:11 am

  6. There is a reason I refuse to wear clothing…

    23-August-2007 at 10:14 am

  7. Bonnie fell down the stairs from a hairball. That was pretty embarassin. I guess fur me, it’s trying to jump into the window when it’s closed. We don’t gots no window sills, so I go “thump” an fall.

    SOPHIA!!!! My boy brotted in a package an it’s fur me an Bonnie an its frum DKM an he won’t open it fur us!!! He says we has to waite fur Mom. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    We’ve waited long enuf.

    23-August-2007 at 11:15 am

  8. 7th grade – lime green sateen pant suit. Oh, and the canary yellow skirt and blazer. AND the pink, yellow, green and blue plaid bell bottom pant suit, with the short waist jacket. AND the red, white and blue striped low rise jeans (ok, those were actually pretty cool and all the other kids liked them). 1975 was a rough year.

    23-August-2007 at 2:11 pm

  9. Oh my. No. 9 is owr favrit. Mom spit wine owt her nose ofur dat one.

    23-August-2007 at 4:42 pm

  10. I don’t know what makes me love this post more, identifying with everything listed or that you have the courage to post it!
    Woo Hoo – great post!

    23-August-2007 at 6:20 pm

  11. those are the things nightmares are made of!

    mom’s taken to wearing pajama pants (how did she get to be nearly 44 and not know about them?). she’s afraid that some morning she’ll head into the office wearing them because she forgot she wasn’t completely dressed! luckily, it would get a laugh more than anything else.

    23-August-2007 at 10:39 pm

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